So I went back to my old job for the summer, doing rehab-therapy with kiddos, and in addition to assuming my old clientele I've also been assigned a ... gasp ... infant. Well, he's 18 months. Legally this qualifies him as an infant, although I don't know how he'd be characterized if I took like a census or something. Anyway. For 2 hours every afternoon I feel so awkward and, frankly, a little terrified. And really, he's the most complacent, happy thing that ever was. But I'm with him in this closet of a nursery - thank goodness the mother doesn't hover - and the whole time I'm hyper self-conscious. Should I be always chattering? What's the appropriate work-to-play ratio? And how do you play with a baby, really, anyway? Getting the work part done isn't too much trouble, although it feels mean and a little wrong sometimes to wheedle his fist out of a death grip or to make him roll onto his front when every time his one little arm gets pinned under his body and he mashes his face into the carpet.
He drools like Beethoven, too. (Dog, not composer .... Well, maybe composer, you never know.)
Everyone thinks it's hilarious that I'm afraid of babies. It's not irrational. It's not like I think they'll attack me or something, pull out special infant krav maga. I'm just unfamiliar with them. They're foreign to me, like a wallaby or a babushka'd grandmother fresh from the old country. If anyone gave me either of these to manage for an afternoon I'd feel equally anxious and unfit. It's not my fault I've never been baby-proofed.
If one ever comes out of me I won't be afraid of it, right? (... Or will I be more afraid on account of its violence? Hm.)
I don't think it's all that strange to be afraid of someone else's baby. They're so reliant on you that sometimes it feels like one false move & you could do serious damage. & who wants that on their shoulders, right?
ReplyDeleteit'll get easier.
It's starting to get easier. But I'm still happy and relieved to hand him off when my hours are up.
ReplyDelete