the last unmarried

Clearly I am a terrible person. Or, at least, I am self-involved, petulant and petty. One of my best friends calls to tell me that she is engaged - something I have anticipated for awhile - and, while I am happy and excited for her, upon hanging up all I can think about is myself.

I just can't help stacking her relationship against mine and feeling badly. Her and her boyfriend-now-fiance haven't been together as long as myself and mine. But they moved in together a year ago. I thought that was the plan for us this spring, but after much discussion it has been decided that, in fact, it's not. They seem to be moving along the conveyor belt of monogamy so expertly. Why do I feel like I'm just scanning tabloids in the slowest check-out line?

A ring for so-and-so! - So-and-so tie the knot! - Yes, we're having a baby! Exclusive details inside.

I get the headlines from all my friends. And yes, I know that every relationship moves at its own pace. And yes, I know there are legitimate reasons for why my relationship is at the place that it is. And I don't feel like marriage makes sense for me right now. And I think it's perfectly reasonable, at this stage in my life, for that to be so. But still!

There was a wave of weddings, then a wave of babies. Now the second wave of weddings is cresting. I want those things. You know ... eventually. In the meantime I'd like to feel reassured of eventually. I feel like eventually has arrived already for so many other people and I wonder when it will be my turn. And I get the distinct feeling that somehow the people behind me in line are cutting ahead, and I can't quite catch them at it, and I don't know that there's anything I can do. I just have to suffer waiting. And sometimes I just get tired of waiting. I feel like I'm going to be the last unmarried, and I don't think I like it.

faulty parrallelism

ugggh, writing techniques is infiltrating my life! i just went back and edited my last post because of faulty parallelism (my assignment this week is on the subject). I'm not sure if I edited it correctly, but if it's still incorrect, at least it's less obviously incorrect. Damn you, correlative conjunctions!!

4/52

Lately, I've been feeling like all I do is work, homework, sleep, eat, and repeat.  I'm easily distracted so one of my favourite places to get my homework on is Café Myriad. Not only is it just around the corner from my place but also makes the very best lattes in town. Not only are they delicious, but they also beautiful. Latte art, you could say.

On top of the great atmosphere & delicious lattes, the myriad baristas are a wonderfully friendly bunch. (& no, I don't work for this particular café. I'm just an honest to goodness fan of their lattes.)

3/52

In honour of it being absolutely freezing out east, this week's photo is all about cozy flannel.

It's just a grainy, muted, flannel kind of day out there. 

2/52

While I was home at Christmas, my dad kept talking about this espresso machine that he had when my parents were first married. I'd never seen it before (something about steam exploding & blinds - I'm not sure either...), but they managed to dig it up out of the basement. It is by far the strangest looking contraption I've seen in a while. & I have no idea how you actually make coffee with it. But it is fun to take photos of! & next time I'm home, I'm resolved to experiment with it. I think it still has at least one more cup of coffee to make.

The possibility of real life is encroaching & it is totally freaking me out.

1/52

As stated in my "resolutions-that-aren't-really-resolutions-because-we-all-know-they-don't-work", I am getting on board with this Project 52 this year. I don't really have any rules besides that the pictures must be recent. I had thought of making a rule that I can't include anything that wasn't taken within that week, but then this project wouldn't have even got off the ground. That & this picture is a must. I love the lighting & how small it makes me feel & the beauty of something relatively untouched.

Driving back from the lake, we stopped at some waterfalls just off the highway. In the spring, apparently the water comes rushing down & is beautiful. But I think it's equally gorgeous under a blanket of snow & ice.