I used to be _____ but I'm not anymore

Two people with whom I've reconnected in the past few days have commented that they always thought they'd read something of mine one day. It's kind of ... I suppose disconcerting to get this sort of feedback on the direction people thought your life would take. And, frankly, so did I.

I remember how in grade 12, my English teacher burst out laughing when I told him what undergrad program I'd selected. He thought it was a waste and that I belonged in English.

Post high school, writing as a hobby just got shoved aside and shelved like all my other hobbies ... and I just never picked them back up again. But I still think about writing all the time. In fact, I think in narration ... my inner dialogue is third person, and constantly being edited and revised. I'll mentally rehearse a dozen ways of describing scenes. I think in terms of characters and plot and mood and setting. There are so many unwritten novels in my head. But any sort of creative writing that I do now - a rarity, really - feels so awkward and stilted.

I would like to be read.

It's hard enough to be published if you're really talented. And, as much as I would like to be, I'm afraid I'm not.

dèjà l'hiver

Elle s'étonne, le temps passe si vite, déjà Noël, déjà l'hiver, déjà demain et rien ne bouge, voilà le problème, en effet, notre vie est immobile et la terre continue de tourner. -Delphine de Vigan


I can feel it in the air: winter. Here's to late nights in a courtyard with friends from all over the word. Wine, melon, crayfish & vodka. To random nights, with amazing people. To staying out until all hours without a coat. To sunburns & freckles. 


To summer. 

Love

 My cousin got married last weekend in Toronto &, fortunately, I was able to make it out. It had been a long time since I'd last seen that side of the family so not only was that lovely, but the wedding was as well. Here is a preview of a few of my very favourite photos from the night so far. The rest will go up on my flickr, but here's the first glimpse!

Bubbles instead of confetti

Bubbles

Bride & Groom

First Dance

Alanna is grumpy and craving junk food. It's taking all my will power not to head over to belle pro for a poutine...

Quelle chance!

I've wanted to run 10 km for a long time now. It has probably been a goal of mine for years, in fact. I'd been working pretty hard on this goal, but I'd only ever made it to 7 km. Visitors & school & work (&&&) had been getting in the way, however, & my runs were becoming shorter & shorter. This week, I finally felt like I was back on track. I'd found my stride again & had a few confident runs. It was time to step up, however daunting that 10 seemed. & today was the day. Today, I conquered my fear of the 10 km run. Don't be fooled by the title of this entry however, it was not out of luck that I finished. No, that took a great deal of effort. As luck would have it, my 10km run coincided with being shit on by some bird (I hate birds!!) around the 7 km mark. Another first!

Another first!

Naturally, I was fairly appalled by this. How long had a been running with bird shit on my arm & lulu jacket? Did anyone else notice said bird shit? Do I stop & clean it off? The answer to that one is yes. I did stop & clean it off (as best I could -using some lovely fall leaves) & continued my run.  

When I got home, the bird fiasco slightly overshadowed my triumph (temporarily - I'm still elated!). I told my mom about both the run & the bird shit. Her response: Lucky you! That's good luck. Go buy a lottery ticket. 

& then she pestered me a few more times until I decided that I would. My final first of the day: lotto 649 purchase. Hopefully this is a well spent two dollars! 

eau

Vacation stop in Telegraph harbour

I've more or less been in or around water my whole life. Growing up in BC, my parents had a 26 foot cabin cruiser that we spent most vacations on, cruising from island to island. I guess that's where both my love & respect for the water started. It seems almost natural that from there I got into competitive swimming. I swam for years. & I don't regret a minute of those countless hours I spent swimming back & forth. It seems only natural that from there I went on to swim varsity, which eventually lead to coaching & now teaching swimming lessons as well. It seems I just can't stay away from the water. I'll be the first to admit that most water related activities come much easier to me than those one land - I aced my scuba diving tests despite sleeping through long periods of the class for example. & stick me on a wakeboard & I'll impress you far more than I ever could with it's snowier counterpart. I'm awkward on land, to say the least & anyone who knows me well will undoubtedly agree. I can point out at least 2 bruises from a land related activity on my person right this second, in fact.

Lake Okanagan

Skuba diving in Thailand

So it comes as a bit of a surprise that I've taken up running. I've always been a pretty active person & I do venture away from water sports from time to time to take in a hike or a bike or to eat my way through a city. & I didn't used to be a terrible runner. In fact, I used to be a really strong runner. I'm going to have to blame 10+ years of swimming on my more recent failed running attempts. So when I recently decided I was tired of hitting the pool or the gym every time I wanted to work out, I turned back to running. Don't get me wrong, I do love a good swim but everything about it is time consuming & time isn't something I often have a lot of during the school year. So running was calling my name.

Shuswap Lake

In the past I've never run much more than the occasional 1 or 2km to get warmed up for whatever I was doing next. & I struggled through those short distances. But this spring, I decided to give it an honest shot & started running a few times a week. It was fairly slow & painful & I rarely got in much more than 3km, but it was happening. Then the boyfriend came to visit. Unfortunately for me, the boy is a natural runner. Unfortunately for my poor body, I am an extremely competitive person. Every time we ran this spring, he hopped & jogged along - barely breaking a sweat. Despite the fact that I was running at least twice a week & he rarely ran, I just couldn't keep up. & honestly, I probably still can't. But I have a goal now & between the drive to keep up with him & the sheer boredom of living on my own this summer, I've made a pretty huge improvement. I went from barely being able to make it over 3km (& moving at a snails pace) to running over 5km for the first time last week. & then over 6km a few days later. & today, one of those sticky, disgusting Montréal summer days, I did a whole 7km. & despite the fact that it was 40c & I decided to run uphill for half a km out of the blue at around 3km, I actually made it. So I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself.

Wakeboarding this summer

Maybe by next summer, my tan won't be decorated with black & blue bruises...or at least perhaps not as often....

We talked about feelings :)