I'm packing & doing laundry & getting ready & it seems strange to have told almost no one. Especially since I usually announce my plans to the world, or at least I thought I did. It just doesn't seem appropriate to announce it. It's like putting it out on twitter or on facebook or in a text will somehow tarnish it. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. Not to mention, no one would know what to say back & it would just be a whole awkward mess. This blog seems like a safe enough venue for my thoughts right now though.

I don't even know if I really want to tell anyone right now. At least not myself. I'm fine with them finding out. I just don't necessarily want to be the one to tell them. It's not like no one knows, but at a lot of the people I normally share things with have no clue. & for right now, I'm pretty ok with that. I remember when Laura's grandpa died. She called me & I had no idea what to say & I just felt so helpless. Like I couldn't find the right words & was just a terrible friend.

It seems silly to make a big deal & let everyone know when most of them don't even know him & there's nothing that can be done. I'll be back in Calgary for less than 24 hours anyway. & then I'll be back for real in less than 2 weeks now.

June has sped by & I thought I had so much time to say goodbye to Montreal, but with the road trip & now this weekend away, I will most certainly be scrambling around at the last minute in my usual way, trying to cram in the million things I will undoubtedly miss about this city.